Have you ever been in a relationship where it never felt easy no matter how hard you tried? Where things that you did with the best intentions led to huge fights and you were constantly left wondering, “What the hell just happened?”
I was in one of those relationships. When things were good, they were really good. The problem is, I never knew when things would go bad. There was always a push and pull. He would pull me close only to push me away for no reason. It was like riding an emotional rollercoaster where the rails were invisible.
I would make excuses for him because I knew that he had a rough childhood and felt special that he had shared everything with me. For the longest time, I told myself that if I just tried harder or loved him more, we could figure it out. After all, I was convinced that he loved me, too.
I read dozens of relationship books trying to find a way to make our relationship work. One day, I read a book that seemed to describe my partner perfectly. I had an epiphany that day - I finally realized that there was nothing I could do to save the relationship because it wasn’t about me at all.
My partner had never been given the tools to manage his emotions or communicate his feeling. It wasn’t just me that he couldn’t form health attachments with - he couldn’t do it with anyone. Until he had the awareness of this and was ready to work to improve himself, nothing I did mattered.
If you’re also in a relationship where you feel constantly confused and like you are walking on eggshells, I wrote an article about the signs that help me finally see the light. I hope this will help you see your relationship more clearly so you don’t continue investing your time, money, and feelings in an outcome that you can’t change.
As always, I would love to hear from you. Feel free to share your story, thoughts, and feelings with me. Simply hit reply to this email or write to me at email@example.com.