If You’re Feeling Lost Or Stuck, This Is Who You Need To Ask For Advice

They are the only ones who will have the answers you’ve forgotten about.

Hi friends!

Lately, I’ve been talking to a lot of people who have been feeling “flat” or stuck. They’re not depressed necessarily - just a little restless, unfocused, and lacking in motivation. Nothing is wrong but they know they are not the best version of themselves. It’s like hitting a pandemic wall.

Having their world completely disrupted has made them question what’s important to them and also caused a whole lot of disconnection. No matter what they do, it just feels like they can’t get out of this stuckness.

Whenever I get into these unproductive loops where I feel like I’ve been thinking in circles for a long time, I perform a self-reflection exercise I call the “Council of Selves.” In this exercise, I think about myself at age 9, age 16, and age 26 and what these different selves would think about the problem or anxiety I was stuck on. More importantly, I think about my future self and what would be best for her. These selves remind me of who I am, what I am capable of, what makes me happy — and more importantly — who I’m doing it all for.

It’s an incredibly fun exercise and reminds me of the lessons that need to be learned and re-learned throughout life. If you are also feeling stuck, I hope you enjoy this article I wrote sharing the process.

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“I don’t know why you’re so scared. It seems pretty easy to me,” she stares at me with the casual innocence and defiance that she is so famous for.

“You’re just writing, right? Type words in and hit publish? That’s it? No snakes or spiders?”

I nod tentatively. I hate it when she’s right and she’s so often right. How does one explain societal expectations, fear of rejection, Resistance (with a capital R), and the Ego (with a capital E) to a 9-year-old? One doesn’t.

Because she doesn’t care and that’s what I love about her. She’s not looking for answers. It’s not her job to make those decisions. In any case, she can’t. Her job is to show me where I’m being ridiculous about things that don’t matter. Food, connection, safety, and play — she cares about those things. Everything else doesn’t matter as much as I think it does.

I seek her out often. Not because she is the wisest person around or because she is the person who knows me best but because she is me — stripped of all the anxieties, insecurities, societal conditioning, and expectations I have accumulated after the age of nine.

Read the rest of the article here