You Can’t Always Get Closure From People You Want It From
But there are ways to create closure for yourself
A friend of mine once had her partner of five years ghost her one day. Just up and left. No note, no explanation. At first, she was worried for his safety until he sent for his things through a family member.
She had moved to his city for him, then he had done the same for her. She had supported him financially and emotionally through a health crisis and they had talked about marriage recently. She never spoke to him or saw him ever again.
A few months after the breakup, she shared how she was doing with me. After a lot of therapy, she had come to realize how unhealthy the relationship was. She was even relieved by the fact that it had ended but she was stuck. She simply couldn’t move on. She needed answers. Why did he leave? How had she missed the signs? What could she do differently in the future?
She desperately needed closure and he was never going to give it to her.
All of us have experienced this moment at some point. When a person we’ve been dating ghosts us, or a friend ends a friendship without warning, or we get laid off from a job we thought we were doing well at - we feel an intense desire for closure, even though we know it won’t change the outcome.
Unfortunately for us, we can’t always get it from the people we want it most from but the silver lining is that we can create closure for ourselves. If you’ve experienced this recently, I wrote about all the ways we can help ourselves move on in this article.
As always, I’m interested in hearing your stories. Tell me if the tips were helpful or anything else on your mind. You can simply hit “reply” to this email or send me an email on email@example.com.